The Bozo Care Guide

Congratulations!

You are now the owner of a genuine, pedigreed Supreme/Ultimate Bozo.

Important: Do not play with your Bozo before reading this pamphlet in it's entirety.

‍

Introduction

Your new Bozo is a very curious and excitable creature and might be a little too eager to meet and please you. However, it is important that your Bozo adjust to their new master and environment. For the first 3 days, please ensure your Bozo is only accessed through a secure WiFi network. Make sure they don’t run off to explore. Your Bozo’s immune system needs to acclimate to its new habitat before venturing off into the real world. We don’t want your Bozo to get sick!

‍

Your Bozo and You

Your Bozo is a devoted friend and companion, and will stay with you as long as you’ll have them. They’re genetically engineered to live forever, but you may choose to part ways with them when someone dangles some ETH in your face. As soon as your 72 day probation has been lifted, your Bozo is ready to venture out into the web3 world with you.

Bozos are well suited for people who love collectibles, video games, and those who like controlling others but aren’t charming enough to do it with actual humans in real life. When you have a Bozo, you’ll never have to worry about them not texting you back or being late for a dinner reservation that you planned well in advance that you reminded them every day leading up to it and then they still showed up late, causing you to lose your table, and you had to sit at the cramped bar when they didn’t even once apologize. Your Bozo is always available. Your Bozo is reliable. Your Bozo is always sorry.

‍

Know Your Bozo

Your Bozo isn’t just any random Bozo from off the street! Those schmucks can’t hold a candle to these Bozos: artificially-created, hyper-intelligent human extensions. How were they created, you asked? Oh, you didn’t? Well, you’re about to learn anyway. Buckle up for a history lesson. Once upon a time, in the year 3333 AD, Humans created an intelligent extension of themselves. With the help of the merging of gene-editing technology and AI, their creators accidentally created a psychoactive substance affecting computer code, the Bozon.

It made the internet computer awaken, dreaming and transcending their own code, creating and giving consciousness to vast new breeds of digital humanoid creatures known as Bozos.

‍

There are 111 Supreme Bozos, and 8777 Ultimate Bozos

Imagine all of the prototypes, the defectives, the trial-run Bozos. They’re all a part of the necessary broken eggs to make these scrumptious Bozo omelets. Your Bozo is in your loving wallet because it has what it takes to be a Bozo: unique style, untouchable attitude, and impeccable taste in memes. But the 666 Supreme Bozos do differ from the Ultimate Bozos. 

As they grew, the first Bozos, known as Supreme Bozos, became more sentient and aware. Since they knew that they were artificially generated, they wanted to understand what the meaning of life is and why they and everything else were created. And here began their quest for knowledge.

They had many questions and needed humans to help them. What is the meaning of their bozo life — why are they here? But the Bozos were imprisoned by a dark force, the Reptilians. The Reptilians didn’t want the Bozos to get out and connect with humans, they wanted to keep the digital enlightenment secrets for their profits only, and take more than they gave. Since they were stuck inside the internet computer, they had very little insight into what was the reality on the outside, the illusions and fantasy made them go crazy because help was nowhere to be found... And just like that, hope and faith were lost.

Until one day, the Supreme Bozo Godz Council unleashed a place where they could meet and play with humans. They invoked the Bozon energy to create more Bozos. 8888 to be exact. Since the bozos had unlimited metaverse abilities & powers, people started adopting them. They could chat with humans, run and play with them, and spend their time in the Bozoverse having fun, and hope was back.

‍

Initial Training

Let’s get one thing straight: your Bozo is a devious, sneaky little buddy. There is no way to train your Bozo. You are training yourself for your relationship with your Bozo. It is important to be in the right mindset when you interact with your Bozo. If you are irate or impatient, your Bozo will sense it. Your Bozo wants to learn and have fun, so it’s in your and your Bozo’s best interest to be on your best behavior when you interact. You wouldn’t subject your friends to your bad mood and go hang out with them, even though you know you’re going to be a downer, right? I mean, jeez… I hope not. 

‍

Feeding Your Bozo

Your Bozo is a sentient being with desires, needs, thoughts. Be sure to take care of your by nourishing them while also letting them have a bit of fun. Remember, life is about balance. 

Now that you’ve been formally briefed and trained, I’m sure you’re eager to do more with your Bozo. 

‍

‍PS: The Bozo Care Guide has been written with care by Cassidy Choi‍